IMPROVING BEHAVIOUR - THEIRS AND OURS

IMPROVING BEHAVIOUR - THEIRS AND OURS

Like Jean-Jacques Rousseau, that other great amateur educator, I want to begin with a confession: in a forty-year career in teaching, I have had very few disciplinary problems. This assertion may damn me from the outset amongst some colleagues, but I am stuck with it because it is true. And it is not because of my dazzling charisma. Even less my professional expertise. It is because I possess two natural attributes - an inexhaustible sense of humour and fundamental affection for young people.

Teaching makes me laugh even on days when I feel I won't or can't. I deem it a privilege to spend my working life amongst children, not for any altruistic reasons, but because they daily confirm the absurdity of the human condition. One thing that children do not do is to take life too seriously; the thing that most adults do is to take life far too seriously.

I mention this because you may think I am being flippant when I am being deadly serious, and being earnest when I am simply cynical. Children are by experience, if not by nature, cynical; understandable when so much of their lives is governed by adults; children are neither by experience nor by nature sarcastic; they fail to appreciate sarcasm because they instinctively abhor it; they know that sarcasm hurts, and children recoil from emotional hurt.

Cynics are on the side of the angels because they include themselves in the criticism; cynics have the gift of smiling, if wryly, at human nature. Those who offer sarcasm want to stand outside the glasshouse throwing pebbles; they hurt, they rarely heal.

This is not all throat-clearing. I am being deadly serious. If you have a weak sense of humour and little affection for children, don't get into teaching; if you are already teaching, get out. For your sake as much as the children's.

But if you like children and you have a sense of humour, you are well-equipped for a great career in the noble profession.

Just a minute

The qualities mentioned are necessary but not sufficient to cope with all the behaviour problems that will arise in the schools where you work. You owe it to yourself and the children to develop your expertise in lots of areas, not least how to understand how behaviour problems arise and how they can be defused. There are days when your sense of humour will be stretched wafer-thin, your affection for the children thin as a butterfly's wing. It is then you need your expertise to carry you through the day, the week, the fortnight before Christmas when the term seems as endless as those dank and dismal nights.


Don't worry

You don't have to carry around the strategies in your portable computer, briefcase, hold-all, or plastic carrier bag. Do the right things long enough, and consistently enough, and doing the right thing becomes part of who you are. Because doing the right thing is an affective methodology; it changes you right long with changing them. Strategies become attitude, and you become the attitude.

I have heard it neatly described: unconscious incompetence - conscious incompetence - conscious competence - and then the Holy Grail of Unconscious Competence. You do the right thing because that's who you are.

Little of this is woolly liberalism. But it is not the opposite. The phrase Tough Love comes to mind. When a dialogue between children and an adult takes place, always bear in mind that there should be at least one adult taking part, and that adult has to be you. It is your responsibility to set reasonable standards or behaviour, and it is your responsibility to ensure that these standards are met. And sometimes you will have to be bloody-minded to ensure it happens; but bloody-mindedness must exercised within the context of affection.

No matter what you have to do for a child for his own good, make sure he understands that you like him and will always like him. Even when your handing out a three-day fixed exclusion, do it with a sincere smile, wish him well, and stress you are looking forward to seeing him back in school when he has paid the price for his transgressions. Keep in mind this aphorism from T.S. Elliot: Teach us to care and not to care. Better still: a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, but he should do it with a smile.

I have a fixed rule in dealing with children. No matter how hard I have to be, the conversation must end on a positive note, and if possible "leave them laughing when you go." I do not want to leave a child smouldering with unresolved resentment; I want him to be listened to; his point of view, his explanation understood; then, if sanctions are in order, I want him to understand that imposition of the sanction will not impair our friendship - consequences, if not Karma, are simply the way of the world.

Do not be put off by the word friendship. I am not talking about emotional, personal friendship, which is usually inadvisable in the student/teacher relationship. I am talking about the friendliness that all human beings should have for all other human beings. If you want to have friends, be friendly. That is trite because it's true. So nod to kids in the corridors. Return their smiles. If asked, look at their Sanction Cards - they are trying to show you that they are trying to be good; reward them with praise. Do not damn with faint praise. Take an interest in what they are doing, even if only for a moment; then they will take an interest in what you are doing, even if only for a moment.

Dealing with learning difficulties is by and large straightforward. Identify the difficulty, marshal your resources, point them at the difficulty, monitor the effectiveness of the strategies, adjust where necessary, and voila! you've done your job whether the outcomes are successful or not.

Dealing with behaviour difficulties is fraught with frustration and failure, but the rewards of turning round a youngster with behaviour difficulties are infinitely satisfying. And if not you - who? if not now - when?

During their school lives many children will exhibit behaviour difficulties; it's part of growing up. In the majority of these cases the behaviour is mild, manageable and transitory. There are a number of youngsters for whom the difficulties are persistent, debilitating and deep-rooted; and the causes of the difficulties are as varied as the youngsters themselves.

And here's a statement that may have you gasping in disbelief if not demanding a refund:


NO CHILD CHOOSES TO BEHAVE BADLY

Any child who is behaving "badly" is trying to tell us something. He is trying to tell us that his life is out of kilter, out of balance, and he doesn't know how to get it back on even keel, if it ever was on even keel. Most children with long-term behaviour difficulties are exhibiting learned behaviour, and, unless the child is clinically damaged, he learned it in the home. Or least he did not learn appropriate responses in the home. Very young children need security, safety, warm, affection and appropriate role-models; if they have them, there are unlikely to be long-term behaviour difficulties in school. If they did not have them, the school may spend years limiting the damage that was done, damage which expresses itself in the child's inability to feel comfortable with the world and himself any where.

The one thing all children need is a home they want to go to at the end of the school day. It matters little if this is the traditional two-parent home, single-parent home, or foster carers. If a child want to get home at the end of the day, most behaviour problems are likely to be short-term in nature. If not… we still have to help them cope, and cope with them in school.

Whatever the causes, children - and let us never forget they are damaged children - who are difficult to deal with often become unwanted and rejected by the majority of the teaching staff. The reasons for rejection are easy to understand. Such children often:

- disrupt the education of other pupils;
- wreck the atmosphere in the classroom;
- adversely influence pupils who are easily influenced;
- undermine the authority of teachers;
- exhaust and demoralise teachers.

How easy it would be if we could suspend, expel, or slam the doors in the faces of difficult children who do not even appreciate the enormous efforts we are making on their behalf. But we can't and, unless we have exhausted all other strategies, perhaps we shouldn't.

How often do we hear the cry in the staff room:
"Why can't he just behave like everybody else?"

If we listen closely enough, we may realise that this cry is an echo of another:
"Why can't I just behave like everybody else?"
And that cry is coming from the damaged child himself. Above all, a child with serious behaviour problems would like to be just that: the same as his peers around him. He is crying silently for normality, and normality may well be the one thing he has never experienced in his life.

When you are really angry with such a child, ask yourself this question:
"Would you like his/her life?"

What do many such children have in common?
Low self-esteem and the fear of being ridiculed by their peers.
This makes change for them so difficult. At least in their trouble-causing, attention-seeking role they have established an identity, they are somebody. They are terrified to lose that role, for if they do, they may simply disappear.

The aim of everybody involved with such a child is to establish for him the possibility and reality of a different role, a role where success offers recognition and the raising of self-esteem. No child wants to fail.

You can't change behaviour overnight - not even your own. There is no magic wand. The patience of the proverbial saint is required. It will be two steps forward and one step back for a long time. And it will be slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. But as long as you are moving forward that is progress.

Make a start by changing your own behaviour. In the face of provocation, do not give him what he expects: confrontation. Offer him patience, understanding, a calm consistent approach, and a sense of humour. Do not fight on his ground; you won't win, for he has had years and year of practice. He is addicted to confrontation; don't feed his addiction.
Above all, shut up and listen.

What the child is saying may not be what he is desperate to tell you. Only when he has reached silence will he find the emotional space to listen to you. And as often as not, he will not need you to tell him what to do; he has been working that out for himself.

In fact, rarely tell a child what to do. That is not your role. Your role is to clarify the options open to him, and their consequences, then stand back and let him choose the option himself. Of course, you will explain that he is not allowed to endanger himself or other people, and if necessary discuss why such a course of action is not an option. Demonstrating that his safety and the safety of others constitute the prime directive will draw him towards you, not push him away.

There is risk in this strategy. It would be less risky to shout or threaten the offender into silent, resentful compliance. Slap him in detention. Send him to a higher authority. Pass the buck. Suspend him. Expel him. He will have understood nothing, he will have learned nothing, but at least you've shelved the problem - for the time being.

But if you do use confrontation and coercion, and if you are a good human being, you are left with a problem, something has been damaged - your self-esteem. Because you are left with that feeling of helplessness all good teachers feel in the face of failure. And often when we are doing what is manifestly the right thing - expelling the trouble-causer - we still have that nagging feeling of failure. You have failed him, the school has failed him, his family has failed him, society had failed him… let's hope the Young Offenders' Institution can save him. Cynicism or sarcasm? I leave it to you.


What I am interested in is self-esteem.

Ah, self-esteem, I spoke that word as if a wedding vow, but I was so much younger then, I'm younger than that now.

A few years ago, I came across a letter in the Times Educational Supplement. The letter was so powerful that I cut out a section of it, blew it up on the photo-copier, made about twenty copies on card, laminated them, and stuck them up all around the school. This is what is says:

One of the most important classroom studies ever carried out... was done in the 1960s by Rosenthal and Jacobson and their results became known as the Pygmalion Effect.

In the study, at the beginning of the school year each class teacher in a school was given a list of half a dozen names and told that in tests previously conducted these pupils had revealed a very high learning ability. In fact, these names had been chosen at random, but when tested again later all these pupils had made far greater progress than others in the class and, when questioned, the teachers were full of praise for their motivation to work and excellent behaviour compared with the rest.

These students had come to perform better because the teachers had cause to have high expectations of them. An environment had been created in which they could feel themselves to be more successful and more worthy. Teachers' attitudes are a key instrument in building their students' self-esteem.

Self-esteem is at the heart of the matter. An often misunderstood term, associated with conceit, a true, healthy level of self-esteem brings with it the confidence to overcome, or at least cope, with all the challenges life may bring. If we take responsibility for helping to build the self-esteem of all children and young people in every classroom in the country, we should transform society in a generation. Murray White, Cambridge

Okay, fine, how do I make a start? I've got a boy in my class who causes merry hell. I've tried persuasion, I've tried punishment, I've tried a big carrot and a small stick, I've tried a small carrot and a humungous stick. Nothing works. Who does this kid think he is to mess up my classes?


Why not find out who he is?

Read his school file.

Discuss difficult children at subject department meetings.
Are your colleagues experiencing similar difficulties?
What are they doing about it?

Discuss the child with his Form Tutor.
Form Tutors must be key figures in the lives of the children in their
tutor groups. If they aren't, they are not doing their job properly.

Read his Special Needs file.
I am still amused by the colleague who gasps,
"I didn't know he was on Ritalin. What's Ritalin anyway?"
Discuss the child with your SENCO.
Are there general strategies in his Individual Education Plan?
Does the IEP include an Individual Behaviour Plan?

Phone the child's home if the behaviour is persistent.
Enrol the support of parents whenever possible.
Make it clear to the parents you are concerned about their child's welfare just as much as about the disruption of the class.

Discuss the problem with the child himself.
Be honest, open and frank.
"Look, I've not been enjoying this class for the last couple of weeks…
What is it I need to do so that you can get on with the work -
so that you can enjoy the class?"

Look at that last paragraph again.
"What is it I, the teacher, need to do….?"
I have deliberately shifted the responsibility from the child :
"What is it I need to do so that you…?

This is deliberate. It takes the burden from the shoulders of the child. It allows for creative discussion about what is going wrong. It becomes a shared responsibility. The teacher has the opportunity to hear some things he might not want to hear but which he needs to hear. ("Well, you never seem to know what we're doing... sir." Or "You're always late for class and I get into trouble when…." Or "Don't get mad, sir, but I always think you're picking on me." )

Most solutions will not involve negative criticisms of the teacher, but if the cap fits... get another one. They may include: "I hate sitting next to a girl." (school policy) Or "I hate writing stuff down." (learning difficulty) Or "Dad's walked out on us again." (domestic trauma) Or "I'm getting bullied and you teachers ain't doin' nuthin' about it." (Never mind, we will sort out your grammar.) Or "They've moved me to new carers, and I miss the old ones really badly."

The relationship moves towards that of people sharing experiences. Child and adult begin to talk to each other, not at each other. The child is given a way out; and that is what we are there for - to give children a way out of what are essentially self-destructive habits.

"Oh, yes, but I'm too busy for all that."
"Too busy coping with disruptive brats who wreck my lessons."
"But what if the same disruptive brats saw you as a friend rather than as the enemy?"

Effective teachers reflect regularly on their relationship with their pupils, both as a class and as individuals. Effective teachers reflect on their own classroom management and planning. Effective planning produces greater control, and greater control produces an effective environment for teaching and learning.

Underlying many behaviour problems are learning difficulties. Enable the child to access the curriculum, achieve and make progress and there is usually a significant reduction in disruptive activities.

I read somewhere recently that 80% of learning difficulties are caused by stress; take the stress out of the situation and children can learn a lot more easily. I have no idea what the exact figure is, but I am sure it is very high. Sit and observe any small group of SEN children; they can't learn until they are comfortable; they can't learn until the fear of failure has been reduced or eliminated; they can't learn unless the targets set are reachable. This does not mean we should dumb down to them; they hate that just as much; it does mean that tasks should be commensurate with their ability, with a wee bit of extra challenge. Success = raised self-esteem = happiness = the desire to learn more.

Of course many "bad" boys and girls have no learning difficulties whatsoever, but lots of them do. They are, perhaps, the easiest to reach. All the need is the sweet scent of success in their nostrils, and it is our job as teachers to provide them with those opportunities to experience success.

After all, if a child finds there is little he can do successfully in class day after day, week after week, he will find something else to pass the time. Link this to the deflation of self-esteem and he might as well cause trouble, if only to demonstrate that he is in the classroom. The hostility addressed towards the teacher is an expression of his own self-perceived failure.

If learning difficulties have not been addressed for years, it is hardly surprising that a student becomes depressed, disenchanted, demotivated and disruptive at secondary school. For him school becomes synonymous with inadequacy. And perceived inadequacy breeds resentment, and resentment breeds anger, and anger breeds disruptive behaviour. We need to break that circle, and the earlier the better.

Schools need to be creative in their approach to individual pupils, by ensuring each gets what he needs, and not what satisfies administrative ease or league tables. We need to drive it home to pupils, parents, and to far too many teachers that there are lots of ways of being successful in life. If my frozen pipes burst in the great thaw, I want a plumber, not a teacher with a degree and a fistful of certificates. And if it's a choice between being a happy pig and a dissatisfied Socrates - pass me the apple sauce.